Mysterious Tragedy

I wake to my reality,
wishing I was still asleep.
Devoid from emotion,
and painless from you.
You dance naked in the sheets,
trying to remember her name.
Wishing it was mine.
It’s my voice you hear
lingering your name,
highlighting you with love.
Like an intruder, I want her out.
Jailed for disturbing my
piece of heaven with you.
You close your eyes
to recall my touch.
Her hand cradles the
small of your back.
You are a stranger engulfed
in her foreign land.
Actions and words
don’t mean a thing.
When you’ve been lying
between two lovers.
Pain that bleeds deepest
I will forever and always know,
You are my mysterious tragedy.

 

Canadian Waitress in Canada – Chapter 1 – Niagara Falls

It’s a typically slow, freezing-cold January night, and she’s already been working four hours into her usual four table section in a five hundred seat restaurant. Eleven foot tall windows outline fifty percent of the dining room and with arms stretched out wide she has a spectacular view of Niagara Falls. She never tires of the view, she’s always lived in beautiful pristine places; but this was different, it wasn’t the beach. It wasn’t that deep down warm feeling she felt sitting in hot sand with the ocean at her toes and the sun beating down its mid afternoon rays, no, this shit weather brought out the worst in her, it was only by the ocean that she identified with herself. The only place she feels herself, her sanctuary from the ordinary, she tucks herself into pockets of the world; living, breathing, thriving and developing her sense of self. She craves to have that feeling again and wishes winter would fuck right off. The dirty mess of melting snow, too many below zero to care and the constant brushing of the car was making her one miserable thirty year old woman. It was time she escaped the snow shit capital and seek the refuge that the ocean provides.

Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada

Barely making small talk with her tables, she doesn’t care where they came from, where they are going or what they are doing in The Falls.

Yes sir, I understand, but you are in Canada and the change from your bill will be in Canadian dollars.”

The customers look at her with puzzled bewilderment and she contemplates pointing out the brightly illuminated international border that they crossed. But bites her tongue instead. It hurts. She doesn’t care. She has no time for stupidity. She is polite, professional and to the point, if her customers give, she will give. She has been in this industry for twenty-two years and has had enough of being a servant.

Her mind is like a busy airport linking her identity together, like points on the compass she never truly knows which direction she is going until she gets there. She has traveled five of the seven continents, seen poverty in its depths and riches beyond her wildest dreams, she knows what she wants, isn’t afraid to speak the truth and will just about roll over anyone in her way. In the last ten years all she has done is work, save and travel, work save and travel, not a bad lifestyle by any means but it drains her bank account, and now she’s trying to figure out how to save for another odyssey and live in the meantime. The six fifty an hour job she has had for a year is paying the bills, but will barely pay for another trip or the increase in bust size she has always dreamed of. She knows with enough hard work and the larger than life white striped smile she could do both, work extra hard and survive; travel.

At times she wishes she could take a flying leap out of the atrium windows and fly away, the sense of escape intrigues her, moreover she would like to throw that irritating impossible to serve customer crashing out, spinning out of control to the pavement below. She’s groggy and hung over from ladies night, drinking two glasses of wine and two pints of Guinness she debates on calling Gina, canceling their plans for hor’dorves and cocktails later that evening.

Quickly walking into the dish pit with her usual arm load of shit: plates stacked precariously on top of each other, bread basket smashed into potatoes holding it in place, a half eaten steak dangling off the plate onto her pinky finger, she spills lobster butter down her tie and curses the hot thick liquid making a new home, balancing forks and steak knives she just about wipes out on that damn spill by the coffee station that has been there for an hour. It’s no surprise that she is able to carry the armload of junk, it’s all she’s ever done, it’s all she knows.

Entering the dish-pit the ever gregarious French head dishwasher greets her with the same excited nature he always does:
Jana! How de ’ell are ya?”
Oh you know, same old same old. I’m hung over and want my bed.”
Too many boys knocking down yer door Jana, will make you a tired girl.”
If only that was the reason she felt tired, she could deal with it, but the drinks wore on her like an old sock waiting to be discarded. Unloading her armfuls, she scrapes the leftovers into the garbage and ponders on the amount of food wasted in a restaurant, it’s appalling and makes her sad. She thinks about all the restaurants worldwide and can’t fathom that there are people starving.

The dish-pit becomes busy with waiters waiting to unleash their heaps of garbage, when someone calls out:
The main act from the Casino is here, he’s waiting for a table.”

Thoughts of doubt dance in her head, she’s in dire need of a good laugh, but she’s skeptical that he really is here. She finishes scraping the waste, washes her hands and heads directly to the dinning room and to her amazement, sure enough, it’s him! Brilliant, fucking brilliant!

His charcoal curls dangle from beneath his visor, muscles popping from his t-shirt and his smile larger than life, he is surrounded by five men and wonders if they could be his body guards. Seeing him standing in the middle of the dinning room carpe diem rings in her ears and she leaps into action. They have money, yes of course, they have plenty of money. He after all is the main act at the casino and has been for many months, she wants to dip her hand into their money pockets, she wants another beach holiday but first she must smile. Approaching him with the utmost confidence she lets them know table ten is available. They thank her, she looks directly in his eyes; their gazes locked, and in that split second she feels the fire ignite. That single look stirred passion deep within her, and she could feel her sexual allure escaping her.

They take their seats, his closest to the window, he peers out at the astonishing view, she grabs their attention,
Good Evening Gentleman. How are you today? Have you dined with us before?” Shaking their heads left to right, “Do you mind if I take a minute and go over our menu?”
Asking them to open their menus she looks over at him, he looks at her quizzically and jokes, “My menu is upside down I can’t read it.”

Walking over to him, she turns his menu right side up, she makes direct eye contact with him, his eyes pierce her directly to the core. She tries to hide her slight sexual nervousness, she can’t look at him without feeling aroused, thoughts of devouring him passed though her mind as she launches into the menu sizzle.

Bottom left hand corner of your menu you will notice our grilled to perfection chart, if you are in for steak this evening, which I hope you are, it’s what we do best so please take this into consideration as we do go by these guidelines. Down the center of the menu is all our steak dinners. All our steaks are center cut, well aged and perfectly marbled, which for you mean, you are in for a dynamite dinner. Top right hand corner you will find our prime rib. Our prime rib is our hero product and we are well-known for it, we slow roast it for twenty-four hours in our own special spice, tonight we are carving it at a perfect medium-rare to medium.”

She makes it though the sizzle, she doesn’t stumble over her words, she was finally getting a grip on herself, her nervousness faded as she spoke, she realized they are just another ordinary table in for dinner, with extraordinary lifestyles, and she was curious.

Believe In This Moment, Run.

Ready, Go!

With sneakers laced and iPod kicking out the latest Eminem, I grab my stop watch and head out the door.  Beep.  I’ve just started my first 6k of the week and I am totally pumped. There are no bibs, no trophies nor ribbons adoring my walls.  There’s also no marathons or half marathons nor even mini marathons, heaven forbid triathlons (I look up to those who can, in awe.) 

But what there is, what is the most important and crucial point for a runner, is passion.  Passion to feel like your flying, passion of hear your heart beat, passion to add just one more 6k to the week.  It’s exhilarating and freedom comes; and nothing else exists.  Just you, the road and air exist in this moment. Believe in this moment, run. 

In the corner collecting dust are five pairs of (new to old) running shoes.  They have their scars and served me well.  Most of the time, they are the only reason I get out of bed in the morning. They beckon me their taunts of freedom and haunt me awake with their desire to add another mile.  There are plenty of times when I just throw them back under the bed, pull the comforter up and go back to sleep.  Only just to taunt me further when I finally rise to the day.  These days are difficult.  As what I’m really aching for is a jar of Nutella, some freshly baked Sardinian bread, a few cigarettes (yes. a runner who smokes.  a runner who runs to not smoke.  it’s a vicious cycle,) a deep dark local red and a good Angelina Jolie flick on the tele.

They always win.  Always.  It never fails.  It doesn’t matter how many times I try to forget them, they always win.  Beep. 46:16.  Not bad.  But it doesn’t really matter to me what time I’ve run or how many seconds slower or faster I was this time.  When I’m on the road time does not exist, and if I must walk for a millisecond well, that’s just ok too.  For the only thing that truly matters is my passion for running.  It’s alive.  Belive in this moment, run.

For You Mom. Ti Amo.

Even though we are oceans apart,
I hope you know you are deep in my heart.
I remember all the good times past,
And how you would make each moment last.
I am so proud of all the things you do,
But most of all I’m proud of you.
Thank you for all the wonderful things you’ve done,
At times I’m sure it wasn’t much fun.
But you grinned and beared it from the start,
Not knowing if things would fall apart.
You are the glue on the camels back,
Life doesn’t get better then that.
Today is the day that I recognize you,
And all the things that Moms know how to do.
Thank you for making me the woman I am today,
It was difficult I know, I just wanted to go out and play.
I’m a better person because of you.
And I want you to know that:

I love you!

 

For you mom.

I am Canadian. Io sono canadese. (in Sardegna/Sardinia)

 

Canadian Maple Leaf

The muscles in my calves are aching as I make my way up the mountain, bags in hand. At home I unpack the groceries to our six-foot two fridge. In an hour M. will be home, sweaty from seven hours of pane and he’ll be hungry. He likes and wants me to prepare the meals, its part of his culture; that’s just what the women do. I’ve seen it at many dinner parties thrown by his friends. And this woman doesn’t mind. He’s home and greets me with a bacio and we eat. I wash the dishes in the bathroom sink; our cucina finished within the next few days, Sardinian time. In my reality of time our cucina will be finished in two to three more weeks. I’m ok with the fact that things here happen slowly, I can’t change the hand of time nor can I move a culture to rapido. After all, I am in their country trying to speak their language be it dialect or Italian; and I find myself becoming the traditional Italian housewife with the exception that I AM CANADIAN, eh!

Let the Sun Down

The View From My Room

Here’s a little peek into my piece of heaven. And all from the front row seat of my living room.  Bliss.  Happy Sunday.

Home Improvements

This post is dedicated to my followers.  Heck, do I even have any followers, let alone people who may have subscribed to my constant dribble? I mean that would be super fantastic if you did.

Pretty Purple Flowers

So what I’m about to ask is pretty easy if you are familiar with blogging.  I  have no bloody clue about blogging but I do know that I like to write and I want to have ALL of your opinions.  Tell me how to improve my blog, how to write better, should I change my theme (however I am impartial to black-ish themes.)  Do I have too much crap blogged down on my blog?  So yeah that’s it … let the critiquing begin … don’t worry I’m up for a challenge.

Thanking you kindly in advance.

laavventua

The People From Here

Happy Smiling Sardinian Children

The smiles are wide here.  They are full of hope and filled with laughter.  This I learned at a family gathering last night.  There were twenty-one Sards, one Italian and one Canadian at this festival which was held a few mountains over from ours.  From the moment we entered the door with our ‘permesso,’ the radiant smiles never stopped.

After making the round of the usual kiss on both cheeks to everyone in attendance we set upon duties for the nightly meal.  Mine consisted of grating five pounds of Continue reading

My Hood.

So instead of my usual or not so usual ramblings here on WordPress, I’ve decided to show you around my town.  The name is not important but it’s in Sardegna.  The most beautiful place on the planet.  Enjoy the following pics. Continue reading

You’re distracting me! Go away.

While I should be writing my piece on ‘Asparagus Hunters,’ I’m well, just not. It’s there in my lazy head wanting to come out, needing to come out.  But it’s just too lazy.  All it wants to do all day is surf the net and read other super fine blogs by super strange people out there in cyber space.  As well as eating one two many carbs in the day, smoking like a wet Sardinian chimney, consuming copious amounts of Nutella and local pecorino cheese (fresh sheep cheese.  There’s some in the fridge … want some?) believing that thirty minutes on the indoor bicycle will get my bikini bod back, yeah just doesn’t cut it.  I NEED to focus!  Capital F.  With too many goodies to devour out there in life I find my self distracted by life’s little pleasures.  Maybe it’s the Sardinian air, food or even … sex.  Who knows?  Chi lo sa?  My day dreaming must come to an end and I must finish that piece on … wait, what was I rambling on about?  Oh right … Asparagus Hunters.

My New Year starts February 1st 2011.  Blessed Be.