The long hot hours of work are finally over and I’m looking forward to catching up on lost sleep. Everyday I worked 12pm – 9pm without a day off, as that’s how the cookie crumbles in Sardinia. At times, it was difficult to keep the smile on my face and more often than not I wanted to sucker punch a few guests in the face for stupid remarks. Overall, it was a beautiful whirlwind working at the lovely beach bar Mistral Bar at La Marinedda beach. I met some fantastic people who quickly became friends and I saw 31 stunning sunsets worthy of a painted picture.
Here is a little list of what I endured in the 31 days as a Beach Bar Waitress
- “Do you live here?” Me: No, I fly in from Canada every morning. Ryanair now offers a direct flight from Alghero to Niagara Falls.
- “Where are you from?” Me: You have to guess. Guest: Finland, Denmark, Australia, South Africa, England, Bulgaria, Holland, Ireland, Scotland, America … (they never, ever guess Canada).
- “Why are you here?” Me: I hit the love jackpot.
- “Wow, what sport do you do? You’re very fit.” Me: I serve drinks all day to idiots like you.
- “Where are you from?” Me: I’m from Canada. Guest: Oh, you sound American.
- “Excuse me? But why is the beach half of what it was last year? Did the sea eat the beach?” Me: (mouth hanging open) Uh, yeah, the sea was very hungry this year.
- A woman walks into a beach bar full of guests eating lunch. She stands naked but for the small g-string attached to her curvy hips and she just stands there… her fake mountainous cleavage obscuring the view of the diners.
- Three men from Napoli sit down and ask for three beers. When they have finished the first round I ask if they’d like a second and this is the response “well, we can’t eat the bottles now can we?” I quickly retreated behind the bar and popped open three fresh beers and brought them to the table when I’m greeted with “Ma che cazzo – chi ha ordinato questo? What the fuck – who ordered this?”
- Two couples come in to eat and drink on the busiest day of the month – the Frozen Open Surf contest. They are polite, happy and after three hours one of the men ask for the check. When I deliver the check to the person who asked I am greeted with anger and really, really bad swear words from the other man. He told me that I should have given the check to him, and I’m an idiot for not knowing that. I told him “I’m sorry sir, but I can’t read the minds of raging lunatics.”
- My Mizuno running shoes kept a lot of the customers talking for 31 days. A four-year old girl said “Your shoes are ugly. They are not beach shoes.” People would obviously stare at my running shoes and make all sorts of comments. I had an argument with a marathoner (N.B. never get into a conversation about running with a multiple time marathoner … it will never end) about me being lazy and not training for a marathon even though I told him I have zero interest in running marathons.
- I cleaned up enough pee on the bar floor to last me a lifetime. Parents … I know it’s a beach but please put a diaper on it when entering a bar.
- I learned that if you do your job efficiently that Italians do know how to tip.
- I saw 31 stunning Sardinian sunsets, surfers and a popular Italian minister.
For this year it’s over, and it seems so is summer; I watch a storm roll in over the mountains of the Gallura and rest my weary waitress head to the table and dream of Mom’s chicken noodle soup.
What did you do that’s spectacular this summer?
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Too funny Jennifer – I love #1. Now that would be a commute!:) Those of us who live on the coast and have worked summer beach jobs sure have some stories to tell. ~Terri
Stupid questions in Sardinia Can-aid-in making you Sardonic! 🙂
lol! Nice one!
Love it! I am working the Positano version: yes I do parlay ing lay sey, no, Amalfi is not an island, no you can’t get a boat to Ravello it’s at the top of a mountain, yes I live here, yes I can speak Italian, no you can’t rent that canoe it’s mine and YES I am white, I have been sitting under an umbrella all summer working.
Jennifer, how you deal with these people is amazing. I would have stayed behind the bar in the fetal position, possibly crying.
Trust me it’s not always easy but after almost 25 years in the business I’ve got thick skin!
I’m sure your mother greatly misses making you chicken soup!
And raisin oatmeal cookies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you have the recipe, right? but maybe they are not the same?
Yes, I have the recipe. My super Mommy gave it to me. 🙂
Hahaha…love the August casino!!
It’s when all the nutters come out to play.
You really made me smile, Jennifer. I guess it all goes with the territory. Glad the tips were good. Sounds like you deserved some decent compensation. 🙂
I loved this post..!! It was fantastic.! As an American who lived and worked in the hotel industry in Mexico, I can completely relate to some of your experiences. It’s nice to know someone else who was in similar trenches 🙂
Yeah, I’m happy you like this post, thank you!
@Pietro Branca (@georgatoss) following up Sardo-Canadian …..and when ,from time to time, she’s flying around the globe she’ also a Canadair 🙂
LOL! joesard – that’s a good one! Thanks. 🙂
As for the last remark…was it Berlusconi????
I have two words for the men who cussed at you for not knowing who gets the check…..justifiable homicide!
It’s not the first time it’s happened either! I guess some people just like the show of paying the bill. 😉
Hats off to you to for putting up with the “maleducati” 🙂
It’s not always easy! And the guy from Napoli came back the following day asked for a sandwich, I said panino and he said ok. When I brought his panino he said to me “me che cos e? Questo non e un sandwich.
I bet it’s not and I bet you probably would have like to put that panino up his … you know, where the sun don’t shine 😉
Oh, I really, really did … 🙂
Working with the public is always such fun! At least you’re in Italy! Priceless!
Yup! we only tip when the service is impeccable… congratulazioni! :^)
Yeah, parents pee all around! ;^D
Yesterday we went to a bar and a friend’s dog puked on the floor… lol, it was awkward and hilarious at the same time.
“Secondo giro di birra”… you are Sardo-Canadian, most Italians are not used to that!
What a lovely compliment – sono Sardo-Canadian! 🙂 Thank you.
HA the g-string lady had me cracking up. I mean seriously?! Brava to you Jennifer for sticking it out – that is no easy job, that’s for sure!
She was rather…uh…developed and proud. All eyes were on her that’s for sure.
well if she paid for them I suppose she wanted to show them off 😉
People who stare are simply giving her a return on her investment! :-p
LOL being a “Hooked” Hook fan I can see that you also have acquired a caustic perspective of humanity on vacation…by the way perhaps you could find some time to expand that intriguing episode involving a g-string and silicon …details are needed 😉 Have a nice day , get some rest and take advantage of Sardinia’s September IMO the best period of the year 🙂
You can just imagine! 😉
Good post. People can be so ugly when on vacation, expecting service like a maid…surprised it wasnt worse though as have heard the stories re the villasimius area, i am from a tourist area in the states and its the same there…if they are seasoned travelers they behave much better! There are such things as good manners and kindness! Anyway good you made some friends at the bar, here good friends usually become precious part of life in italy.
Some mother’s children!! At least someone paid you a semi-compliment by suggesting you were South African… 😉
The worst of it was when I said I’m Canadian and they said “oh you sound American.” Not that I have anything against my southern meighbours, nothing at all. It’s just ignorance on the part of the tourist!
The worst of it was when I said I’m Canadian and they said “oh you sound American.” Not that I have anything against my southern neighbours, nothing at all. It’s just ignorance on the part of the tourist!
I agree totally with you!! Sometimes one wonders who let them out of their cages!! 😉
PS – When we go away to a new destination I always say I’m not a tourist, I’m an inquisitive visitor wanting to learn NON tourist stuff about the place… and of course meet interesting people and have fun!! 😉
I bet you’ve never asked your waitress if she lives here!
No… but I have occasionally asked my waitress for her name and telephone number!! 😉